Splitting one self into millions of pieces

So, apparently I am not blogging much. Not that I have nothing to say, believe me, I have always plenty to say and talk about. Also no shortage of interesting topics lately, but a very urgent shortage of time. Fall is always like this and I cannot stand that I have no time to enjoy the leafs slowly drifting to the ground, the low sun with it's golden light, the slight chill. I have not decorated for Halloween in years, because I am so short on time. This is the problem: I am splitting myself into millions of pieces. Or one could say I have way to many roles to play and there is hardly any space left on the stage for just 'me'.

So within the last 4 weeks I have been (in no particular order) mother, daughter, parent, wife, chef, travel agent, interior designer, television producer, school council member, friend, customer, political activist, small business owner, sales clerk, party organizer, photographer, camera (wo)man, maid, apple picker, queen of directions, chauffeur, present purchaser, secretary, volunteer, teacher, carpenter, craft organizer, researcher.... I am sure there is actually more, but completeness is not a necessity.

A lot of these roles are chosen, but some choices are not always free and in some way a 'must' in order to fulfill these roles to the standard I have chosen or because I see them as a kind of civic duty. But outside of singing in the chorus, which is so wonderful, there is no time to read a novel, do a craft that is for me and not for my business, to just sit and dream (if I try I usually fall asleep). A lot of these roles are work and a lot of these roles are fun and gratifying, most are all of that. I think the issue is finding a balance, because it is important for feeling content. Writing this blog had become a very important 'me' thing and having missed it for a month - it is almost hurting somewhere in my soul, for a lack of expressing this better.

So where and how do we cut to make more balance? I am no shortcut person at all, so this is not coming natural to me. In the past forty something years, I just sacrificed sleep and that is becoming increasingly hard to do for longer than a week. Where five hours used to be plenty, I do need six to seven hours now. New ways are needed and I might have to come up with a plan, if I find the time to think :) We will see.

Peace to you all and all the roles you play.