Quote on Thursday

"Basing our happiness on our ability to control everything is futile."

Stephen Covey

When looking at my bookshelves, one can find a section of books about time management, theories about happiness, advice on how to live and the sort. I enjoy some of them, dislike most of them as they usually try to tell the reader a simple recipe to follow and then everything will fall in place and the reader will turn into the happiest, wealthiest, most popular, successful and healthy chap on the block. Yeah - life is that simple, right? The first book I have ever read of this type (a very American thing) was "fit for life" but it did not solve any of my problems. Anyway, once in a while there is a really good book though. 2 years ago I was giving a talk and workshop on finding your true passion and learning who you really are. One of the books I used in my preparation was Stephen Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change" and I was surprised how much I liked it and the approach that was so easily transferred to the different aspects of life.

So why did I pick this quote? Because lately it feels like I have so little control over things and it is driving me a little nuts. I do not like to live my life reactive, but sometimes we have to and this quote reminds me not make my happiness dependent on how much I can control. On the other hand there are areas we can attempt to control and I have been bad at my time management. One major reason being that my brain is not working as properly as it used to. I used to never forget anything and calendars where a cute accessory, not a necessity. Lately I have forgotten some important appointments - today I forgot to pick up my friends son from preschool and that is awful.

I have been a bit defiant about really putting a good time management system to work for me and today I finally succumb to it. I will not rely on my brain powers alone, there is something to be said for a place to write down everything. I tried Filofax for a while and it never worked, there was not enough freedom for me and enough space to write a lot. I tried Apple's iCal and though it is not bad, it is not enough and it stays on my computer - it could come with me if I had an iPhone, but I refuse to pay for those ridiculous monthly fees at AT&T. I like Covey's system, but there are no designs I like in the size I like. The big size is boring looking for business men and the cool looking pages are for women and their tiny purses - hello, that is not me! Can a woman not have a big planner? So I have decided to make my own system with Levenger, that way I can design it myself and make it suit my weired life.

Here is to my hope of managing time, anticipating curve balls and accepting that there is not much in life I can truly control! With the quote chosen, I could have written a multitude of blog entries, like how children do not behave the way we envision they should, how our neighbors might not vote the way we like, how other people cut us off or ... The topic does not matter, as long as we can see that happiness resides inside of ourselves and not in controlling external issues.

Splitting one self into millions of pieces

So, apparently I am not blogging much. Not that I have nothing to say, believe me, I have always plenty to say and talk about. Also no shortage of interesting topics lately, but a very urgent shortage of time. Fall is always like this and I cannot stand that I have no time to enjoy the leafs slowly drifting to the ground, the low sun with it's golden light, the slight chill. I have not decorated for Halloween in years, because I am so short on time. This is the problem: I am splitting myself into millions of pieces. Or one could say I have way to many roles to play and there is hardly any space left on the stage for just 'me'.

So within the last 4 weeks I have been (in no particular order) mother, daughter, parent, wife, chef, travel agent, interior designer, television producer, school council member, friend, customer, political activist, small business owner, sales clerk, party organizer, photographer, camera (wo)man, maid, apple picker, queen of directions, chauffeur, present purchaser, secretary, volunteer, teacher, carpenter, craft organizer, researcher.... I am sure there is actually more, but completeness is not a necessity.

A lot of these roles are chosen, but some choices are not always free and in some way a 'must' in order to fulfill these roles to the standard I have chosen or because I see them as a kind of civic duty. But outside of singing in the chorus, which is so wonderful, there is no time to read a novel, do a craft that is for me and not for my business, to just sit and dream (if I try I usually fall asleep). A lot of these roles are work and a lot of these roles are fun and gratifying, most are all of that. I think the issue is finding a balance, because it is important for feeling content. Writing this blog had become a very important 'me' thing and having missed it for a month - it is almost hurting somewhere in my soul, for a lack of expressing this better.

So where and how do we cut to make more balance? I am no shortcut person at all, so this is not coming natural to me. In the past forty something years, I just sacrificed sleep and that is becoming increasingly hard to do for longer than a week. Where five hours used to be plenty, I do need six to seven hours now. New ways are needed and I might have to come up with a plan, if I find the time to think :) We will see.

Peace to you all and all the roles you play.